When I met you, it felt like meeting an old friend. Sympathy, from the start. Add your big smile and the way you played your guitar - my heart still melts when I think about the moment.
Your band prepared for the gig and I just sat backstage next to you, assisting your manager whenever she needed help. Since there was not much to do for me, I started pestering you with questions. Somebody mistook me for being Swedish, because I used a few Swedish swear words I picked up from the boys last Summer. You laughed. Oh boy. When I felt that smile of yours, it clicked. Like literally made a click sound in my head. My heart subscribed to you in one second.
The weird thing is that it didn't felt like it was strange that we met or got along so well. You even said it yourself, later in the night: "I really like you, you are different than the others. I don't know why, but I like being near you."
When your gig was over, we went to the next place for the after party. You forgot to buckle up. Well, I did that for you, which you didn't like. "Hey, what are you doin-", you protested. The next sentence just cut the row of meticulous moments: "I have a girlfriend." Dang. That stung.
Then you told me how you just got together two days ago and you chased her for such a long time, you didn't even know if you're after her or the chase itself. I just listened and kept my distance.
Wrong timing, one might say?
But it didn't end there.
When we came to the apartment, where the party went on and you guys actually stayed, I started getting hungry for two. I started making ham and eggs at five in the morning. You stood by my side the whole time. "I can help you", you said and asked at the same time: "But please, don't make me eat it, I don't want to get fat." Still laughing about this, because you were actually thin as all Swedes I've met are.
The music was loud, people were dancing and making out in the living room. The clock was ticking. I knew I should get home, there was nothing left for me to do. Plus, I felt uncomfortable feeling so attracted to someone like you. Not that you weren't special. You were damn special and attractive. But you were in a relationship. And I don't get in the way of that. I may be naive, but not ignorant.
Before I found my bag and jacket, tiredness overcame my body and I asked the apartment owner if I could lay down for a moment. I crushed on the couch in the middle of the party living room.
Suddenly people started leaving, the party was over. Somebody turned the light off and people went to sleep on the couches and the floor. Half asleep I put a blanket over my shoulders, when I heard someone right next to me. "It's him. He is there. He wants to talk to you." My brain started racing as if only to survive the built up tension between us. "I'll take my pants off now. Don't do anything silly.", you said. My head moved and looked at you, your grin was beaming in the dark. I muffled a "yeah, okay" and fell asleep again.
When I woke up again, it was 2 in the afternoon, you had your arms around my waste and we were spooning. My head was so dizzy. "Where am I? Who am I sharing the blanket with?" - Then I remembered. Everything. A whole truck of crazy feelings got dumped on my heart. Holy shit. "It's him."
I haven't met you again.
But I will never forget that night or the morning after, when you played Banana Pancakes and smiled in silence across the coffee table.
And this is how it starts. Missed opportunity.
he's got a girlfriend anyway. a girlfriend anyway.
Sometimes you pop up in my dreams when I thought I've forgotten you ... it's a spinning world.
If you were back in this town in a second universe, I'd love to meet you, any day.
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